It's a new year and we all know that means working on ourselves, our lives and our relationships. Over the past couple of years I've been really working on the relationships in my life. Lucky for me I really didn't have any toxic relationships in my personal life but I did have some in my work life. It was pretty obvious from the beginning that it was toxic but sometimes it's not so obvious that a relationship is toxic. Have you ever realized a relationship in your life was toxic? What ways did you get it out of your life? I've got 5 tips to help you work on eliminating a toxic relationship.
Know who they are
When it comes to ourselves there are lots of times that it's hard to see things for what they are. Most of us find it difficult to see our own and our close friends' flaws. This can be especially true if the person is toxic. We can make excuses for them and reason ourselves as to why they're acting the way they are. Here are five ways to spot someone who might be toxic. There are tons of other ways to spot them but these are five that I've seen in toxic relationships I've had in my life.
- They are self-centered. They take more than they give in your relationship.
- They are never at fault and are always the victim.
- They always have to be right.
- You feel drained physically and mentally after spending time with them.
- You always feel like you must save or fix the person.
Realize they won't change
Toxic people are not the type of people who change. They don't even know what they're doing to you so how could they change their behavior. You might think you can change them but they don't want to change so it's a futile effort. Even when people point out something that is a toxic behavior the person either doesn't know it's something toxic or more than likely really doesn't care. I know someone who tried to share a behavior that was toxic with a work colleague and the person just sat there and was like yeah so what.
Set boundaries
Don't just say you're going to stop talking to someone take the next step and remove them. Block their number and block them on social media. Don't even give them the option to connect and try to pull you back in. Stick to it.
Focus on your healthy relationships
Toxic relationships can take up so much of your time it's easy to forget about the healthy relationships in your life. Those relationships should make you feel happy, healthy and safe. Make sure you're cultivating those relationships. It can be really easy to let the toxic relationships force out the healthy ones but hopefully you're able to realize what's happening and not let those healthy relationships deteriorate.
Forgive but don't forget
When it comes to toxic people it's all well and good to forgive. If you end up forgetting though it would be easy to go back and let them into your life. Really there is a chance if you keep forgetting how toxic they are you won't only let them back in your life you'll let them ruin your life.
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