Have you ever had one of those moments where you're like "well dang it what in the world am I doing over here?" A sort of come to Jesus moment if you will. This past weekend I had one of those conversations and another shove Monday when Stephanie showed me her newest post. Stephanie and I got together for a day filled with checking things off my 101 list, drinks, food and just an all around lovely day. While we were enjoying our delicious summer cocktails the conversation turned to more serious happenings in our lives. The past year for both of us has had some hard things happen.
Even though both of our situations are totally different we realized that we've really let those things affect us. Not just affect us but hinder the goals we've set for ourselves this year. Remember how great Kevin and I started off 2018 with our year of organizing? I had started the year by blogging regularly and sharing awesome content. I mean who doesn't love a post about Labyrinth or a delicious new recipe. Lately I haven't felt like writing or that what I have to share is that great. These thoughts led our discussion to the cause of the issues not just the symptoms.
While the past several years have overall been good for me there has been some major tough things going on for me in a major area in my life. These things are not just once and a while it's a regular thing which makes it really affect my life. I'm sure you're sitting here saying to yourself vague much Betsy? I know I know I want to share specifics but at this point I still can't. With that being said because of the stuff that's been happening I've been realizing the past several months that it has really affected my life.
It's affected my weight. I've found myself being upset more regularly. Not even just upset it's almost like this sadness just decides to sit there and just hang out. I have worked hard to try and fix the situation the last couple of years but with nothing seeming to work it gets me upset, discouraged and down really quickly lately. When that happens I find myself not wanting to accomplish anything. I retreat into this little rom-com filled happy ending all the time haze and the evening is over.
It's affected how I see myself and my self worth. This has definitely traveled over into other areas such as blogging. I've found myself getting frustrated easier and playing that comparison game. I think since I'm not feeling confident in those other areas I'm starting to feel not as confident in this area.
Hopefully that rambling some some sort of sense. While Stephanie is feeling that she's moved into a self indulgence mode I think I've moved into an emotional safety zone. If I enjoy this treat it will make me happy again but doesn't last since I've just eaten whatever it was. I'll take a break from writing and watch this Hallmark movie and just be happy for a little bit.
We realized that while we're accountable to each for a lot of things but we could really take it up a notch. There are so many times when we're just shooting the breeze on gchat during the week. While shooting the breeze it still a good thing we realized we could chat about our meals for the next week on Fridays instead of just chatting about whatever. While we talk about blog stuff a lot we could really be helping each other with more specific areas.
Even though my tough situation has not resolved itself yet I need to stop letting it affect my life so much. I need to keep positive and focus on what I can do to fix the situation. Keep plugging along. As Stephanie said there is something about September 1 that makes you want to start the clock over again. So while I endeavor to get myself back on track and not just back on track but continue on that track I'd love more accountability from my blog peeps!
I already started to combat my feeling blah about the blog lately. I've gotten myself more organized and I'm ready to conquer! There will definitely be posts coming soon about what I'm starting to implement. Here's to taking back control and kicking butt.
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